By Zebadiah Beauregard
zandb.blogspot.com

A couple three years back my wife and daughter, both gifted musicians, took it upon themselves to introduce me to the art of playing a musical instrument.

Knowing I lacked any identifiable skills or talent in that arena and being at a loss for what to give me for Christmas, they carried out the ancient family tradition of the “two-fur” solving both problems by buying me a bodhrán.

It’s still sitting up in the hall closet with my collection of ugly ties and “misfit” sweaters.

For the uninitiated, a bodhrán, pronounced bow-rawn, is an Irish drum made from the skin of a goat (plural “goats”, collective noun “herd”). For those of you who have never heard one, I have an incredible repertoire of goat jokes, but alas, because of an extremely convoluted court order, this is not a goat article.

It’s a bodhrán article.

Now there are still some folks who believe that my previously published instructions on building your own homemade bodhrán were somewhat insensitive:

“Step One: First you get a goat drunk”

But let me assure you, I am extremely sympathetic to the plight of the professional bodhrán player or bodhránist (plural “bodhránaí”, collective noun “infestation”). Indeed, I have several close friends who are accomplished bodhránists.

Why just the other night I was at the local pub with my friend, Brian the bodhrán player. We were imbibing in a few stoutly beverages when Brian suddenly jumped up remembering he had left his bodhrán in the front seat of an unlocked vehicle outside. We rushed out to the street and opened his car door, but alas, we were too late! There were two more bodhráns in the back seat!

 On a more scholarly note, the word bodhrán is believed by some to be a derivative of the Irish word, bodhar, meaning deaf. Bodhar was later introduced into the English language as the word bother, meaning to annoy. It is no small stretch then to realize that, if it hadn’t been for the bodhrán, many folks now question whether Winnie the Pooh would ever had made the top ten list without his classic retort, “Oh Bother!”

I think ‘professional” bodhrán players sometime get bad publicity because there are a lot of well meaning folks that lack musical talent (along with the drive, ambition, time, and motivation to develop it) who still want to participate in the experience of playing in a live band.

When we were young, we simply coughed up twenty five cents for a kazoo and immediately became accomplished, if not annoying, musicians. On yet another scholarly note, under the Hornbostel-Sachs system for categorizing musical instruments, the kazoo is classified as a “membraphone” and as such, a close relative of the bodhrán. This would explain the modern day disclosure label on kazoos which states, “Note: No goats were harmed in the manufacture of this product”. In response to this many bodhrán makers are now offering bodhráns made from synthetic goats.

Alas, there is no “Bodhrán Hero” video game for the Xbox 360, so many of these modern day “wannabe” pub musicians seek fame and stardom by unwrapping a bodhrán from its shipping box, smacking the drum head a few times, and rushing down to the nearest session to join in.

So, at the risk of being permanently banned by the CCE (an Association of Irish Musicians, pronounced “Comhaltas Ceoltóirí Éireann”), over the next several months, I am going to try and raise the bar for these less-than-accomplished bodhránaí with a series of short lessons in advanced bodhrán techniques.

Bodhrán 301 Advanced Techniques:

The Drum Roll

The drum roll is standard fair for many percussive instruments and, when properly executed on a bodhrán it can be a real crowd pleaser!

Steps:

1. Remove the bodhrán from its shipping box.
2. Carefully place the bodhrán on its side rim on the floor
3. Gently shove the bodhrán forward towards any empty space (see pictures).

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